Seattle Half to the Seattle Full Part 2 Recap!

Seattle Marathon 2012

I love the start of a race - when all the runners are facing the same direction in anticipation of a collective mission. But compared to the half marathons I've been to, these marathon runners mean serious business. I slid in somewhere between the 4:10 pacer and the 4:40 pacer and pretended to be serious too.
They played the star spangled banner and I felt un-derserving and inspired and ready to go.  I got my armband and iphone set and pressed play so Tina Fey could talk me through the next 5 hours of my life. The first 6 miles felt great - they flew by! My toes went numb but I tied my shoes a little tighter at the I-90 turnaround and it actually helped.  Good choice on the half size bigger for the new shoes I said to myself!
I remember looking at the water in the fog and zoning out except for the excitement of seeing mile markers.  And because we double back I remember these amazing "true" marathoners flying past us pretty early on and just staring in awe.  They are made from a different mould for sure.  It was pretty cold being right off the water.  I made it down Lake Washington blvd and heard that dang Ganghim style song blaring from Seward Park.  Dare I say I was invigorated!?  The 4:10 pacer passed me around the 12th mile and I stayed with a girl with striped socks that was running her FOURTH marathon in FOUR days.  Every time I felt tired, I would read the back of her leg which said FOUR marathons in FOUR days.  And I would think, well this is nothing.
I hit 13.1 miles at 2:15. I drank my Eric's Sport Ade and felt fantastic.  I remember the beautiful trees and fog and repeating, I love you.  I guess I was talking to myself.  I kept running.  I loved seeing the water stations, it was such a symbol of progression.  I kept trying to calculate my times since I didn't load the pacing app because I didn't want my phone to die.  But mostly I enjoyed the run until.... about mile 20.
And then the hills started, and the saying "what the hell are you doing!?" started and it was suddenly a different beast.  So instead of zoning out, I had to zone in to physically, consciously, mentally make myself run.   And if I didn't my body would just start walking and sometimes just stop.  Like really just stop!  I downed my last Eric's Sport Shot for some extra encouragement and was so thankful a friend met me at 21 miles to run with me.  It was still hard and at times my body was begging me to just walk but I pushed through.  I love running over the bridge and seeing downtown Seattle, but the last and longest 2 miles are still left.  Thankfully two friends that ran the half marathon caught me right over the bridge and cheered me through as I ran down the hills toward the last quarter mile.  Knowing my boys were waiting at the top of Mercer kept me running and I was so excited to see them all.  It was sunny and beautiful and I felt bright and shiny as I crossed that finish line running hard.  I had done it, and done it well.
I'm not sure what to say about the accomplishment.  I'm proud of how I did, but its not pride I feel.  I'm happy I did it, but its not joy I feel either.  I think it must be love.
I didn't cry after the race.  I wanted to, but just didn't.  I might have been in too much pain to get tears out.  But later, while laid up on the couch I saw a quote on a commercial:
be yourself
everyone else is already taken
and thats when the tears came.  Dear self - look what we did, I love you!